Every Sword Needs a Shield
by Flowerlady
Summary: SARIFICE SPOILERS Canon Speculation Post Sarifice missing scene...Jag, Zekk, Jaina...Jag and Zekk considers what they really are to Jaina....Told from Jag's POV


**Title:** Every Sword Needs a Shield

**Author:** Flowerlady

**Timeframe:** LotF

**Characters:** Jag, Zekk, Jaina (from Jag's POV)

**Warning:** _Sacrifice_ spoilers

**Genre:** General, Vignette

**Disclaimer:** Not mine… SW belongs to GL.

**Summary:** Jag and Zekk considers what they really are to Jaina.

_**Every Sword Needs a Shield **_

I watched her from my position near the non-Jedi and willed my strength to her. She stood with her family, her uncle, cousin and parents, who arrived not caring about the warrant for their arrest. The only one missing was Jacen. We all had wondered where he was, but then he was busy—maneuvering himself into power of the GA.

I could tell that she was trying not to break; she was being strong for Ben and Master Skywalker. I have to admit, in all the years I had known the Jedi Grand Master, I never seen him look so haggard, even during the worst days of the Vong war.

I only half heartedly listened to the etiologies being said for Mara Jade Skywalker. I felt somewhat guilty for my inattention but I knew Master Skywalker wouldn't have wanted this kind of fuss to begin with. Even I knew that and I was all but a stranger to her.

No, my attention was fully on the beautiful woman standing with her arm around her younger, but taller cousin. I felt someone staring at me and I glanced around to find Zekk watching me. As soon as my eyes met his he looked away, no doubt his mind was on the same thing mine was—Jaina's earlier revelation.

We, Zekk and me, had arrived at Ossus for the funeral together and found Jaina. To my great displeasure, Zekk found her first and I was forced to tag behind him. Jaina was surprised to see us together and being almost friendly toward each other outside of our relentless search for Alema Rar. We had even arrived in the same shuttle. Despite our competition over Jaina, in the many months that we have been working together, he and I had formed some sort of—something. I wouldn't go so far as saying we were friends, but we weren't enemies either. I trusted Zekk and I know he trusted me as far as facing combat went. We were on the same side of the war this time and as such we had formed a soldier's trust between us. I, however, didn't trust him one iota with Jaina, but then I knew he felt the same for me.

Well, I suppose after yesterday's discussion, it doesn't matter. Jaina isn't interested in either one of us. That hurt more than I thought that it ever would. When she and Zekk were first assigned to work with me, I was livid. I hadn't a clue as to how I was going to stand working with them. I blamed Jaina for a lot of what happened to me and to my fa mily. And I don't even want to get into my issues with her ex-Joiner boyfriend. My whole pursuit of Alema Rar was done in hopes of someday gaining favor again with the Chiss and to regain my fa mily's honor. But as days turned into weeks and we began to find a rhythm, I noticed just how jealous Zekk was of me. And that got me to wondering. I wondered if Jaina still felt anything for me. I kept telling myself that I didn't care one way or another because we were through the moment she fired at me over Tenupe, despite what she had told me before she fired. But soon I did care and I wanted to spend more time with her. What started out as my pretending to nudge in on her and Zekk soon became me really wanting to push Zekk out of the picture. I had done it once before, so I figured if Jaina really had any feelings for me, it wouldn't be too hard to do so again. Of course, unlike the last time, he was doing the same and like two adolescent, hormone happy school boys, we competed for her attention.

It all came to an end yesterday when she commed both of us asking us to meet her at her quarters. She sounded sad, broken and I wanted nothing more than to run to her and scoop her up into my arms and take her pain away. However, when I got there at the appointed time, Zekk met me before her door.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he rang her buzzer, precisely a second after I had.

I raised my brow and simply responded, "I could ask you the same thing. However, since we arrived at the same time; I have the feeling we are here for the same reason. Jaina called you as she had me."

Zekk snickered, "So, Fel, now you think you can infer like a Jedi?"

"No, I'm only looking at the facts and doing the math. Two plus two still equals four."

Just then Jaina's door slid open and I lost all the bitterness Zekk had triggered. Her eyes were hollow, haunted and I remembered seeing that same look in those beautiful brandy eyes a long time before, back on Hapes after her brother Anakin was killed in that crazy mission and she thought Jacen was too. I immediately stepped in and despite the awkwardness of it; I wrapped my arms around her in a tight embrace. I felt her relax some against me and I relished the feel of her and her scent. However, within a minute she was composed and pulled away and out of my arms.

"Thank you both for coming," she said and stepped into an equally tight embrace from Zekk. I tried to swallow my disdain at seeing how intimately he held her as he kissed the top of her head. Then she stepped away and tried to smile but failed miserably.

Zekk forced a smile, "You know I didn't have to be told to visit."

"I know," she looked from him to me then swallowed, her hands were clasped tightly before her. "I've called you both here to lay some things out on the line. Please, come and sit down." She then turned and headed for the small sitting area of the temporary Jedi quarters.

To sit there on the couch with Zekk across from me on a chair that was made for someone not quite as tall as him and Jaina between us on a hard chair she pulled from the small dining table, reminded me way too much of the time she had that silly "picnic" with Kyp Durron and me on Borleias. And somehow I knew from that experience that things weren't going to be good.

They weren't.

She looked from one of us to the other and finally after fiddling for a few moments with the hem of her tunic, she said, "I have to apologize for how I've been acting around you both. I've been immature and foolish."

"Jaina," I spoke up, shaking my head, "you haven't been foolish and you aren't immature. You couldn't have known Mara would…"

She stared at me with such a look that the words turned to ash in my mouth. "Instead of being the Jedi that I should be, instead of trying to figure out just what being the Sword of the Jedi means, I've been encouraging this stupid competition between you two."

Zekk countered, "What do you mean?"

She stood up, clearly agitated as she wrung her hands and paced in a short circuit behind her chair. "This," she exclaimed and threw her hands in the air. Then she spun on us, "Do you think that I don't know what you've been doing? Why all of the sudden you both feel so compelled to exercise in my presence without your shirts, or be willing to nearly kill yourselves to out do the other? Why if I spend even one second longer with either one of you alone, the other one starts acting like a cross between a mynock suctioned to an X-wing and a gundark? And I am finally willing to admit that I liked the attention!"

Zekk and I both glanced at each other then at Jaina but somehow we both knew to keep quiet and let her talk. She sat back down and again folded her hands together in her lap. After taking a deep breath she said, a little more calmly, "Aunt Mara pointed out to me that my behavior has been not very—very mature. I'm not eighteen anymore. And I have a destiny to figure out and we have a job to do. For all we know Alema could have been Mara's killer. She had used poison darts before and she had worked with Lumiya. And she hated my aunt. By killing Aunt Mara she has struck at my uncle, at my parents, at me, even at Jacen, though I doubt he cares, and she hit the Jedi hard. If she has been the one to kill my aunt, this possibly is the second Jedi Master she's killed." She then pinned us with a determined stare that made me want to shiver, "It is of the utmost importance that we find her and bring her in before anyone else falls to her craziness. This means, I have absolutely no time for romance, nor do I really want one. So, I'm only telling you two once, stop the Zeltron gigolo behavior now, because, quite frankly, it is very unbecoming!"

What could we say? Nothing. Zekk and I just sat there and stared back at her.

We left her shortly after that and headed back to our own separate quarters, which were in the same direction but fortunately were not that close together. Neither of us talked as we walked to the spot were we parted and went separately. Both of us were stunned, both of us unsure of where to go from here and, for me at least, beginning to realize just what Jaina really meant to me. But in that walk we both came to some silent agreement. We would abide by her wishes.

So, here we are standing back and watching as Jaina tried to be strong for her uncle and her cousin. However, we both knew her well enough to know that she was using that as a method of not really dealing with what she was feeling. I knew the emotion was high. Although, as Zekk loved to point out, I was as Force-blind as a rock, I could _feel_ the pain around me. The Jedi, I've come to learn, were very much a fa mily. Jaina had taught me that.

After he gave his tearful etiology for a friend and colleague that went back to the days when they were both in Imperial service and who had trained to be Jedi together afterward, Kyle Katarn lit the pyre. We watched as the body of Jedi Master Mara Jade Skywalker became consumed by flames.

The precession then moved toward the great Temple for the quiet wake that was to follow. I moved around the back of the grand room to where I found Zekk quietly talking to Lowbacca. The Wookiee looked at me and woofed something that I'd never be able to understand and with a quick nod moved away. Zekk then turned toward me and said as I watched him weave his way through the crowd, "He's sorry for what happed to you and for the part that he played in it."

I swallowed and looked at Zekk. "I know."

"Oh?"

I turned toward Lowbacca again, "Yeah, Jaina assured me." Then I faced him, "Zekk, hey, look. I think we have to do something. I don't like what Jaina is doing."

Zekk's expression was incredulous, "I'm sure that you don't. She's told us both that neither one of us stands a chance."

"No, not that. I mean," I looked over to where she was standing and shook my head, "I mean, she is shutting down again."

"What do you mean?" Zekk was concerned.

I looked back at him again and said, "On Borleias she shut herself off from everything. She was afraid that she wouldn't live through the war; so, she pushed everyone away to protect them from being hurt. I hope she doesn't start doing that again with this whole 'Sword of the Jedi' thing as an excuse."

"Obviously, you didn't get pushed away. I know that was where you and Jaina…" Zekk stopped and looked away and I was actually surprised to see the tint on his cheeks. I didn't know if it was from anger or embarrassment.

I nodded and looked out over the crowd and tried to find the woman who was the topic of our conversation. "Yes, that's where we admitted that we had feelings for each other. It was those feelings that helped her realize that it hurt more to shut everyone out then to have us close."

"Of course, you felt that way as long as I wasn't involved."

I turned and faced him, "Look, I admit I was jealous. She knew you and Durron a hell of a lot longer than she knew me and you two had a history together. Besides, the three of you share something that I never could or can. The Force. I'm sorry that I told Jaina you weren't a good enough pilot but there was no way I could have taken both you and Durron in our squadron, dealing with Durron's infatuation was frustrating enough."

Zekk lightly chuckled but there wasn't much humor in it. "I don't blame you, really. I would have done the same thing." Then Zekk was quiet for a long time and I really didn't know what else to say. Finally, he quietly said, "You know she still loves you."

I'd had been less shocked if he had hit me. "What?"

He beckoned me to follow him which I did. We eventually found ourselves in the Serenity Garden. There he sat down on a bench and patted the space beside him. "Sit, Jag."

Though awkward as it was, I did. Then he took a deep breath and stared into the folded hands that he leaned over. "I had at one time wished with all my heart that Jaina could have fallen in love with me. I spent years pining for her, watching her with you and wishing that it was me. The hardest thing that I'd ever done was _feel_ her love for you, Jag." He finally looked back over his shoulder at me. "I know what she feels for you."

I suddenly was transported back to that extremely uncomfortable comm conversation at the beginning of the Swarm War. He must have sensed my discomfort and laughed, "You think that was easy on me? I felt what she felt and she felt what I felt. She knew that I loved her but she never once considered me more than a friend. But the worst were the dreams and the memories I couldn't shield myself from."

I didn't need to be a Jedi to understand him completely, and I felt a blush and then anger. I stood and moved away, not wanting to look at this man who probably seen, through Jaina's memories, every personal and incredibly intimate moment that she remembered of our time together.

"I was her anchor, Jag. She was mine," Zekk quietly said. "If we hadn't became Joined together, we'd had lost our identities completely. Though we aren't Joined anymore, we've formed a bond as deep as some marriage bonds are between Jedi, but I know she never loved me more than a friend. I finally realized that and I decided to let her go. I have to get on with my life, Jag." I turned and stared at him as he continued, "I told her this before the Battle of Hapes, but when you came back into our lives, I realized that if I stayed back, she'd run right back into your arms. I couldn't stand the thought of her doing that. So…"

"So, you became jealous and acted such."

"Yeah. But then you started feeding into it and I really started to think that…Kriff! I really don't know what I started thinking." He stood and moved away from me and finally he turned and asked pointedly, "Do you love her?"

I met his gaze and without hesitation I answered, "Yes."

He nodded and turned away from me again. I could tell by his stiff posture that this was hurting him. "Zekk, I don't think I even realized how much I still care about her until I saw her with you."

He turned and actually laughed, breaking some of the tension of what was turning into an extremely tense conversation. "You know, you and me aren't really that different."

I raised my scarred brow and said, "We aren't that si milar either."

Zekk shrugged and deadpanned, "Black hair, green eyes, pilots, stubborn, a bit on the mysterious side…"

"Okay, I get it," I s miled. "But how does this revelation help Jaina?"

"Simple. I step out of the way."

"You'll what?" Again I was stunned.

"She needs us now, Jag. What you said about this whole Sword of the Jedi thing is true. I think that's what she's doing too. So, right now she needs us to prove that she isn't alone and that we care about her, but we also respect her wishes.

"Off and on I've been her best friend since she was eleven. She's been there for the worst days of my life but I hadn't always been there when she needed me. I suppose between you and Durron, I owe you. But I won't be absent in her life again. I'm willing to stand back and let the two of you—you know—find each other again, because as much as she may need me as her friend, I know she really wants your love even if she doesn't know it herself yet."

I swallowed and just held his gaze for a long time. My respect for him had immediately multiplied tenfold. Finally, I cleared my throat and said, "Zekk, I don't know what to say. Thank you seems so insignificant because I'm not sure I could do this."

"Just don't ever hurt her. Because, Han isn't the one you need to fear," his eyes narrowed threateningly and I simply nodded.

I then held out my hand which he took and I said, "For Jaina, then."

He smiled and firmly shook my hand and said, "For Jaina. Every sword needs a good shield. Together we will be that shield."

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